Tales of a Cyclotourist: Beartooth Hwy
It's been called the most beautiful highway in the world. That, as with most things, can be left to debate. What's not debatable, however, is that the Beartooth Highway, which runs from Red Lodge...
View ArticleThat Is It Obama, I’ve Had It!
When President Obama signed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, aka the huge stimulus package, into law I figured he was probably doing his job and putting some peeps to work. Merckx knows this...
View ArticleGravel
Last fall, a wrench at the small LBS in town alerted me to a new race that was being put on for the first time just south of where I live. The Heck of the North is organized by a former Ely local named...
View ArticleThe Yellow Princesses
The Velominati would not exist if it weren’t for The Rules. Of the current 79 Rules, only two, Rule #34 and Rule #69 stipulate anything about shoes. Perhaps that is all that is needed. However, I do...
View ArticleDomestique of the Week: Jose-Luis Arrieta
Yesterday, Cyclops posted a link to a story about the abandonment from the Vuelta and subsequent retirement from cycling of Jose-Luis Arrieta. Nice work Cyclops. This man deserves a special mention....
View ArticleThe V is a Universal Truth
I’ve got some really cool students. Every year I instruct a course in winter camping, whereby a group of students and I go out into the BWCA wilderness for a few days. Last year’s trip was particularly...
View ArticleSix Days Of The Worlds – Evanescent Riders of the 90s: Oscar Camenzind
The Swiss surely are making a name for themselves in the Worlds, especially these days with Spartacus taking his fourth TT title. Of course we’re all waiting for the marquee event of the men’s road...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Thor Personifies The V
What more do you need to know that this picture doesn’t already say?
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Roulin’ Dirty
After a long, hard day of dishing out pain to the peloton it’s time to chillax with der Homies. Here we have der Kaiser and Klodenizzle pimpin’ in the T-Mobile bus. Roulin’ dirty fo’ sho’.
View ArticleIl Gruppo Progetto: Serotta Colorado AL
The Velominatus’ machine is their own manifestation of personal taste and demonstration of adherence to The Rules. We each, in our own way, meticulously maintain our bicycles and adorn them with the...
View ArticleIl Gruppo Progetto Elegentemente Rifinito
So I just got back from a 30k shake-down ride and Il Gruppo Progetto is exactly what I expected. You will get no Huangisms from me. I'll just say it's a bomber steed with some classic touches that's...
View ArticleReverence: Cinelli Forged Quill Stems
Reading articles and viewing accompanying images here you'll notice a common piece of equipment on a large number of the classic riders' bikes. The Cinelli forged quill stem. Cinelli must have had one...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Gilberto e Damiano dentro Laghetto
It is easy to imagine photo ops and advertisements that the pros obligate themselves to for sponsors becoming tedious. Angles that sound good during an off-season drunken phone conversation are often...
View ArticleRiders who put the “V” in Diva: Federico Bahamontes
Cyclists can be a twitchy lot. Able to both endure and dish out pain for weeks on end in a grand tour takes considerable fortitude, or what we call The V. The cyclist must know their body and measure...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMan
Is it the shades? The W.C. Jersey? The Z kit? The d.t. shifters? Talk amongst yourselves. I just had to get a pic up that’s worthy of this site. Thank me now.
View ArticleReverence: Lobster Claw Gloves
Our Antipodean readers may want to skip this article and come back to it in June as the Austral winter begins. Anybody reading in the northeastern states may want to get down to their closest bike or...
View ArticleThe Unsung Hardmen: Herman Van Springel
Making a name for yourself in the pro ranks during the heyday of Merckx, De Vlaeminck, and Maertens would have been tougher than making a name for yourself in the pro ranks during the heyday of Merckx,...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Unveiling of Banesto’s New Kit
With the “widely anticipated” unveiling of both Leopard-Trek’s and Garmin-Cervelo’s new kits we thought it would be interesting to look back into the archives to see how it used to be done. Nowadays,...
View ArticleOn Rule 2: Cycling Sensei
My buddy Chris wants to buy a road bike. His primary reason for this is to improve his fitness after splitting his patella in half on a rock while skiing a couple weeks ago. He believes that riding...
View ArticleLexicon Edit: Velominata
Without a doubt cycling is dominated by males. Stop for a second and make two lists. One list including all the male pro cyclists you can think of off the top of your head, male riding companions of...
View ArticleIt Begins
This weekend proper bicycle racing starts for the season with Omloop Het Volk (yes, I know it’s not called that anymore but I like the old name better and it’s easier to spell for my dumb American ass)...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Phil Anderson
In honor of the first Australian to win KBK it seems appropriate to give a Chapeau to our mates down under. Congrats to perhaps the greatest up and coming cycling nation on earth and to Chris Sutton...
View ArticlePro Gravelling- Montepaschi Strade Bianche
The Strade Bianche. Now here’s a race who’s name change I can get behind. Strade Bianche sounds so much cooler than Eroica, no? Mind you I speak no Italian but I know cool sounding words when I hear...
View ArticleAnatomy of a photo: Gun Check, Gent-Wevelgem 1965
The above photo was liberated from a Dutch website which appears to be dedicated solely to a book about Dutch and Belgian riders both old and new. I can’t read a lick of Dutch, in fact, I’m not even...
View ArticleIrreverence: Starting with Rules 48 and 49
My work has me spending much time on college and university campuses. Among the myriad fads that are sweeping the dirtbag and hipster college student sets these days is riding the retro bike around....
View ArticleReverence: Chimay Ale
What better week is there to pay homage to one of the finest ales the world has ever known? Each year, Cycling Week in Belgium has me turning toward the top shelf of my regular beer peddler for a...
View ArticleBiography of a Velominatus: Gert-Jan Theunisse
The last Dutchman to win the KoM in le Tour was Gert-Jan Theunisse. He was also the last Dutchman to win atop Alpe d'Huez. The year was 1989 and I was too busy riding crotch-rockets, water skiing, and...
View ArticleRule 8: It’s Gotta Be The Shoes
What Gianni humbly omitted from his last article is that once he finishes ranting about sock color (actually, the lack of need for any color other than than white), he recovers quickly and we wrap up...
View ArticleReverence: Fi’zi:k
Three is a big deal. There are three constituents to an atom, there are three main classifications of galaxies, we live on the third stone from the sun, we perceive the universe in 3D, we have the...
View ArticleLa Vie Velominatus: The VVorkshop
If the road is the cathedral where we go to worship at the altar of Merckx then the workshop must surely be the rectory. The workshop of the Velominatus is semi-sacred space where one goes primarily to...
View ArticleReverence: Velox Fond de Jante Rim Tape
The very first time I ever pulled a tire and tube off of a rim it made an impression on me and it still does. I’m not sure I expected to find anything other than the tube between the rim and tire but...
View ArticleReverence: TRP R960
By now you’ve probably figured out that our Reverence series is not about reviewing gear in the classic review sense. The very word “reverence” connotes that the author of the article holds a certain...
View Article2012 Velominati Super Prestige: New Riders, New Races, New Rules
Focus groups are forced marches out of the safety of our locked and darkened offices to delve into group work that would certainly be accomplished by one person, namely you, with much more efficiency...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Take a Look While You Still Can
FDJ guy: Is that the new fi'zi:k Kurve in Bull? Fast Phil: Oui. FDJ guy: Mind if I have a look? Fast Phil: Do it while you can because it’ll be blowing past you later.
View ArticleKeepers Tour Update: Contact Point Supplier: fi’zi:k
It’s crazy to me how fast two months from peaking goes by. At Christmas time I remember thinking how distant the Keepers Tour 2012 felt and that I’d have plenty of time to train. Now that time is...
View ArticleVelominati Super Prestige: Gent-Wevelgem 2012
Gent conjures up images of the quintessential Flemish city. Age-old medieval architecture rising from the river’s edge is classically Belgian. Gent is also firmly tied to Belgium’s greatest gift to the...
View ArticleVelominati Super Prestige: La Fleche Wallonne 2012
I just had to use this pic of Tom Simpson in 1965 wearing the Peugeot kit as the title pic for this year’s VSP for La Fleche Wallonne. Rigid hooked himself up on the Keepers Tour with the same kit he...
View ArticleKeepers Tour 2012 Update, Part 3: Awesome, Kinda Weird, Awesome Again, and...
With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and...
View ArticleAnatomy of a Photo: Things That Are Hard To Come By
Museeuw rockin’ the bands riding with Cipo decked out in yellow as he twists one up. There are only two things cooler than this and both of them are impossible to get. One is Led Zeppelin playing at...
View ArticleRule 43: Don’t be a Jackass
Not being a jackass seems simple enough in spirit but can be difficult to operationalize. Waving to another cyclist because they are on a bike and not ‘the right’ kind of bike reduces your jackassness....
View ArticleLe Graveur: Pain-o-nomics 101
I’ve taken exactly one economics course in my life. If the fog of time isn’t too thick, I recall two theories that account for value. These theories posit value as being either (A) intrinsic or (B)...
View ArticleThe Lexicon: A Retraction
The recent headlines being made in the cycling world have honestly not garnered a whole lot of attention at V-HQ, at least where a certain COTHO is concerned. Yes, The Keepers have added to the usual...
View ArticleIn Memoriam: The Proper Head Badge
The days of the proper head badge, I’m afraid, are numbered. It seems it used to be that any road bike with a pedigree that was really worth riding was festooned with an artful adornment on the head...
View ArticleConfessions of a Keeper: Descension
The only thing worse than being two months from peaking and too fat to climb is being two months past peaking and in the middle of the season of rapid weight gain. At least with the former there is...
View Article2012 Anti-V Moment of the Year: Bullies are really just pussies
As referenced in the 2012 V-Moment of the year article and ensuing discussion, it was a most Vawesome year for cycling. It’s been hypothesized here and on cycling sites with more integrity that the...
View ArticleThe Selection Equation
In order to win one must first make it into the selection. The selection, as it were, can take many forms; a lone break away, a small group, or half the peloton. It can happen within the last 500...
View ArticleEvery Day is Leg Day
The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually...
View ArticleLe Graveur: The Margins
I just got turned back from a ride. 5k from the house I realized my bits were getting too cold not only for comfort (in which case, apply Rule #5 and move on) but safety (i’ll take my vasectomy in the...
View ArticleVelominati Super Prestige: La Fleche Wallone Feminine 2014
Wednesday sees the return of the women to the VSP. More notably, we see the return of Marianne Vos to the road. She’s won this race five of the last seven years. It makes me wonder if the rest of the...
View ArticleRIP: Jim Oberstar
This week we mourn the loss of a true Velominatus, Jim Oberstar. The vast majority of you will have never heard of Jim but if you ride a bike in the US you have him, in large part, to thank for the...
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